LETTERS FROM ME 2.

To my crush,

How perfectly convenient is it that today is the 2nd. 

I am at loss of what to say; I honestly do not know what to say which is strange because when I am with you, I never run out of things to talk about. The possibilities are endless. But that's the thing. The possibilities are endless. About everything. Everything we do, say, hear, they're all endless. We can go anywhere, turn into anything, and what I love about that is that we're in control.

Some say I'm stupid. Some say I'm blind. Some say I fall in love too easily and some say I fall out too easily. Perhaps some even say both. They say I think about the future too much. They say I have too much direction. But this, this my dear friend, this is different. Because of you, I am learning how to slowly take things one at a time. I'm taking and appreciating each day as it passes. And I know you do too.Maybe that's what I love so much about you. You have taught me so much yet you don't realise it. You have taught me to laugh louder, smile wider, become the happiest person I can be.  I love the fact you can be just my friend when I need you to be. I love the fact that you can at times subtly hint how wonderful you think I am. I love the fact you make me feel special. 

You know nearly everything about me, and you listen to me. It sounds so stupid to say, but you do. You listen to me and I don't understand why. After one month, surely you would be getting bored by now! Surely, some ask, I would be getting bored too? 
No. No, I am not bored. Contrary to what others believe, I'm not. It's as simple as that. I still want to hear to everything, absolutely everything you have got to say. 

I'm not going to say you're different. I'm not going to say what they always seem to say in the movies,
"He's different from the rest. This relationship is so healthy and it's new and different and strange and I love that."
No I will not say that. Because I don't want to jinx it. I am afraid that if I reveal what I think, I will wake from this amazing dream. 

I don't even know what's happening right now. Time has once again beaten us in this race. It's raced before us and we are straining to catch up. I don't even know how I feel towards you. I'm completely sure what we have is something I may enjoy for a long time coming but just how much will I enjoy it? "We're 14," you always say. And I agree on the whole. We are 14. 14 is barely if even old enough to judge the difference between a crush and love. But maybe I want to distinguish it now because I am confused. Writing all this down is making me confused as it is. 

The truth is, I am afraid. I am afraid that I might somehow screw this up and be either heartbroken or do the heartbreaking. I don't want that at all. All I want is to have what I have now. And for that, I am thankful that you've given me this joy.

Love,

Thanhy xoxo