(DONE)
I met you agessss ago. And we became the best of friends as soon as you walked over to the lonely 4 yr old me during lunchtime, plonked yourself down, pulled out a peanut butter sandwich finished it in two bites, grabbed my hand and twirled me around. You then stuffed all my lunch back into it's container and begged me to play fairies with you. We ran over to the dress up section of the prep classroom and quickly took anything that looked remotely like something girly. I remember a huge pink dress that drowned you, and a pair of rather fashionable sunnies that slid off my nose. In the afternoon, we dragged our mattresses to the back of the classroom, where the teacher could not possibly have seen us staying up instead and talking. That was day one of our friendship.
We spent the whole of prep doing this, just enjoying our young 5 year old lives with smiles and fun, the only tears being shed from laughter and nothing more. We didn't know what things out there could break us, or hurt us. We just took everything for what it was. We finger painted when all the brushes were dirty, we hid the nice dresses from everyone else, we had matching skirts, we were the ones who would start the sand fights. We got into trouble with each other but we shared our glory moments together. We were basically inseparable. You never saw one without the other. We truly believed we were twins, separated at birth, the first four years of our lives being the only where we weren't together.
We shifted into the first grade. We screamed in excitement upon realising we were in the same class. We spent the second grade still, with just shouts and giggles, and the third still without a single fight. In those 4 years, you already knew everything about me, and I about you. When we entered grade 4, we turned the age of 9 what we thought was mature enough to make our own decisions. Because after all, we were the leaders. We were the girls that made the rules and broke them ourselves. We were the girls that lived the way we wanted to live. We were the girls that saw what we wanted to see, listened to what we wanted to hear, felt what feelings we wanted to feel.
In grade 4, that was when we started our stupid and pointless arguments about the most foolish things. I don't even remember what about but I can recall crying on the shoulder of another close friend. We never fought for more than a day but our fights, would make me so upset because it was then did I realise I would be nothing without you. I would not be happy, you were my best friend and you knew me so well. Whether it be through scraped knees, real tears, or broken hearts, we suffered together. Always. You were there to witness my dramatic ball-hits-face encounter, to comfort my wounded soul, to hold me when I cried. I was oblivious to the fact that you was sometimes the reason for the salt I had to wash off my face at the end of the day.
But the ways you hurt me were so subtle, I didn't even realise. Or maybe I didn't want to realise. Like I said before, "We were the leaders. We were the girls that made the rules and broke them ourselves. We were the girls that lived the way we wanted to live. We were the girls that saw what we wanted to see, listened to what we wanted to hear, felt what feelings we wanted to feel."
But you did something one day after 6 years of friendship, we were 11 and I had fallen "in love" and so had you. I won't tell the whole detailed story, but the short version was, you cut me off. You heard a rumour that I had supposedly started about you, and you believed the boy you fell in love with over me. You chose him. You chose this little, insignificant boy over your own best friend. We made up after a month or so but our friendship was never really the same after that. I was unable to trust you the same way.
Despite all that though, I still loved you like a sister. I was saddened by the fact I had to let you go at the end of Primary school. And when I did, it was the hardest thing I had done. You were there for everything.
We didn't really keep in touch with each other during high school, and looking back, I realise how important you were to me. But I also think you influenced me negatively. Had I not been friends with you, I would not have looked down on so many people, I would not have been such a bitch. But in that way, I am grateful, you was the reason for the way I acted but I never would have learnt from that mistake.
I don't know who you are, what you do, where you are but I want to wish you the best of luck.
Thanhy xoxo
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