NINE

And here are 9 confessions to my best friend.

1. I miss the way we were. I mean you're my best friend and the best person to spend a day with and I love being around you al the time. I just miss how close we were, we still are, it's just not the same. I've become closer to other girls and so have you and we even have created other bonds within our little DPG and we just don't seem as close anymore. Don't take me wrong, you are my best friend, you always hopefully will be. 

2. I want to see you fall in love. I want to see you smile broader than ever imagined. I want to see the way your eyes will light up like stars in the countryside. And all that time, I will be so, so happy for you because you got what I've always looked for but I will be so so happy because you deserve it. And I will pretend to smile like it's all okay, because it is and I will act as though I'm not at all jealous of the guy you fall in love with because he could make you laugh without a care and I couldn't. But I will be so so happy for you. 

3. I wish you weren't so good at lying. Honestly, I like that I'm such a bad liar because that gives me reason not to lie to you. How am I ever meant to know the truth with you though? How am I supposed to know when you're lying and when you're not?

4. We've had one fight and I don't know how we resolved it and looking back, it's the stupidest thing. I'm not even sure it counts as a fight honestly. I can't help but laugh at both you and me when I think about it now. It was the most irrelevant thing and it strikes to me as crazy that we even found the slightest disagreement. 

5. You understand but not in all aspects. You are me. I am you. We are so similar in so many ways and you get me. It makes sense seeing as we're both girls, living in the same world but you get me. Not always though. I pretend to think that you get everything but you don't. 

6. I don't tell you everything. I would love to but God, is it hard. It's hard admitting your flaws to your best friend. I seem to come from such a perfect world and this will all come crashing down if I were t reveal the worst things about me, my life to you. I trust you, of course I do. But I don't trust myself, I don't have enough self-confidence to tell you everything.

7. Despite that, you are easily the second person in the world I trust the most, only after my sister. You still know so much more about me than anyone else. 

8. I can't wait for the day we become actual adults. I mean the working, Sunday brunch, cooking dinner type of adults. I am so excited for you to be like an aunty to my kids, for you to be the one I complain to about my bf/husband. And I can't wait for the day your kids come running to Fun Aunt Thanhy because you won't let them have the cookie. (It's gonna happen soz)

9. You're the best. But only after me

With defeat,

Thanhy xoxo