It's been an emotionless week for me. I have not yet had the momentary sadness that usually comes with a break from school nor have I been in the confused state I have been in for a while.
Besides great satisfaction with these relaxing days and the absence of oblivious peoples, there has been a slight twinge of regret however. I am annoyed at myself for being a pushover. I am desperate to please and this person takes advantage of that. I wish I could utter the simple word 'no' but it's hard and I don't even understand why I can't say the word to this person.
We do not talk anymore, there was a month of close proximity and comfort of secrets (how I regret that now) and for some mysterious reason, it was finished. I do not mind so much. I did at first because I considered this person a lovely and wonderful friend. I had listened to a another very close friend of mine (some may say we could even be related) about how I was to not trust this person and in the end it came to that. Now all that happens is I can't say no to these little favours and I want to so much because all that is truly happening is I am helping this 'friend' of mine and am starting to think that perhaps that was all he/she wanted in the first place.
It will be 3 days until the time comes to once again struggle to keep up and fail miserably however those thoughts are unthought of in this moment and I am content to spend the remaining days lying in bed, drinking coffee and reading.
With content,
Thanhy xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment