101

And here is 101 things I never told you.

1. My second favourite colour is yellow, I bet you could never have guessed.
2. You're the reason for the dark circles under my eyes.
3. You were there when no one else was.
4. I am the way I am because of you. 
5. I think it's unhealthy that you play such a huge part in my life.
6. Your future is clear even to me.
7. I unfortunately get excited when I see your name pop up on my phone.
8. 4 weeks.
9. Memories are what I associate you with.
10. You were at your best in December 2012.
11. In some ways, it's hard to be myself around you.
12. But I'm at my best when I'm with you.
13. You made me believe perfect people existed.
14. But you made me realise even those perfect people had unfixable flaws.
15. I learnt to love myself with your help.
16. I miss you most when we're talking.
17. By that, I mean when we have our weeks of silence, I don't think of you. But when we do talk, I miss you when I'm not talking to you.
18. You confuse me 98.76% of the time. 
19. You sweet talk me in a way that's hard to not fall in love with.
20. You know nothing about me.
21. But you know so much.
22. I used to get 3 hour sleeps because of you.
23. You've probably already guessed but I cave into pressure easily.
24. You taught me how be kind.
25. I never want to meet another you.
26. If you were to disappear, I'd rather live without you than with an alternate version of you.
27. There is so much I don't know about you.
28. I just make it seem like I know you.
29. I imagine you like the colour white.
30. Sometimes, I feel so pressured to please you.
31. I hate the things you ask me sometimes.
32. But I listen, reply/do want you want.
33. Because I like to make you happy.
34. You make me feel like crap.
35. You make me feel so loved.
36. It's taken me 2 weeks to get this far. 
37. It's going to take a few more to get this list finished. 
38. I dreamt about you last night. 
39. You made me so happy.
40. You still make me so happy.
41. But only when you aren't acting like a jerk.
42. Your presence can be emotionally draining. 
43. I try to make you jealous all the time. 
44. I get so jealous of everyone who gets to see you everyday.
45. You are the best flirt I have ever met. 
46. You're so much more mature than I am.
47. You're so much more immature than I am. 
48. After I talked to you last week, I cried.
49. I wish you knew how smart you are.
50. You send mixed signals.
51. My friends accuse me of leading people on, but you do it so much more than I do. 
52. These mixed signals you send, they are the 98.76% part of you that confuses me.
53. I love it when you insist on calling me "Thanh" even though I hate that name. 
54. I love it when you call me by our pet names.
55. You are the one who limits our friendship. 
56. I hate that you are in control of where we go, how close we are. 
57. I am too passive around you. 
58. You can tell me the most outrageous lie and I would believe you. 
59. I don't know your favourite colour.
60. If I acted too much like myself, I know you wouldn't like me.
61. You call me Mademoiselle and it makes me melt. 
62. You're no good for me but baby I want you. 
63. I feel stupid around you. 
64. You always manage to have the upperhand. 
65. I always promise myself not to fall under your trap again. 
66. I remember so much. 
67. It scares me to meet a guy with such deep feelings. 
68. I get you. You like the feeling of familiarity.
69. You are someone I would marry. 
70. I think we are so confusing.
71. I don't think of you as my friend.
72. You're more than a friend.
73. Well, you used to be.
74. I don't think of you a a boyfriend.
75. You are not my boyfriend.
76. But you're not an ex.
77. I don't know what we are and I'm scared you do but you're not telling me. 
78. Not all silences are uncomfortable. Realise this. 
79. I don't think you care for me at all. 
80. I think you think that you're better than me. 
81. In some ways, you are. 
82. You have no right to undermine me. 
83. I know. 
84. I get it.
85. I understand. 
86. I think you flirt too much.
87. I feel territorial even when I shouldn't.
88. I'm so young around you. 
89. Your smile is adorable. 
90. I used to take you for granted.
91. That still haunts me because you left and I realised you were precious. 
92. Wow, you make it seem like we don't even know each other the way we do. 
93. I know my attempts are fruitless.
94. Sometimes I don't even care.
95. But sometimes, I do. 
96. Right now, I don't even bother.
97. You understood me so much better than anyone else.
98. But you don't listen.
99. I don't think you know me anymore. 
100. It's 4:30 pm as I finish this. 
101. I miss you.