They say a striped carnation symbolises rejection, denial, the word 'no'. A solid coloured carnation is recognised as acceptance, 'yes'.
If you were to give me one striped carnation and one coloured and you asked me one question, I wouldn't even know which one to return to you, I wouldn't know whether to say yes or say no. It is conflicting. We haven't talked in a while, maybe it just seems that way though, and yet I cannot stop thinking about you.
I hate this. Everytime. I'm at the point of resurfacing but like a storm, you sweep me off my feet suddenly before I realise I'm about to drown in your flood of compliments and love. And for that, I hate you. I hate you for making me feel loved and beautiful then the complete opposite. I am weak and vain and foolish around you, you undermine me.
But when I'm talking to you, I overlook all of that because you are thoughtful and sweet and kind. I can see that. Perhaps I should be giving you the benefit of doubt. You don't mean to do that to me. Maybe it's my own fault.
"You don't think I've thought about you?"
When you said that to me, it was overwhelming. I had been so sure our relationship was like a daffodil; unrequited love.
"What do you even think you are to me?"
"A memory. Long lost."
I would give you the solid coloured carnation. "Yes." But I would make it yellow. "You have disappointed me."
Then I would give you a sweet pea. "Goodbye."
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